First of all I want you to know that there is no wrong answer as to whether or not your child with food allergies or Autism should or should not trick-or-treat. I am simply sharing what we do. My hope is that this will help those that are new to the worlds of food allergies and autism.
We trick or treat. My boys LOVE Halloween and everything that goes with it. Neither one can have any dairy. My Autistic son can’t have any gluten either.
Regarding food allergies: Because I don’t want my children to be with out great memories of the holidays, we trick-or-treat. What I do is I make sure that I have a stash of candy my boys can have. I usually let them have a piece or two before trick-or-treating and take at least one piece with me. This way they will be less tempted to eat any of the candy they get before we get home. In general we don’t worry about what is being given out. We go just for the fun and experience of trick-or-treating. When we get home, I take their bags before they even have a chance to look in them. At this point they usually want to eat some candy so we give them candy that we have stashed for them. I sort through their bags and remove the candy that they can’t have. Usually I end up removing about 90% of my son’s candy. Never fear my stash contains all of his favorites. I generally pick a few of the “bad” candies for myself and send the rest to work with my husband the next day.
Regarding Autism and the Holidays: Permit me to give a little bit of background. My oldest son is Autistic and has been on a gluten and dairy free diet since he was 3. He is now 7 1/2. He didn’t always get Halloween and he didn’t always like everything that went along with it. Any holiday or family gatherings back then were hard on him and us. However, we like doing things for the holidays with family. We enjoy decorating the house and all the trimmings that go along with holidays and family. Luckily both sides of our family are very supportive. Over the years I have watched my son grow from a boy that hated large gatherings to a boy who now chooses to participate most of the time. Little by little he has overcome some of his issues and sensitivities and come to seek and look forward to holidays and large gatherings.
I do as much as I can to prepare my son for what to expect for certain events. Halloween for example, I would check out Halloween stories starting some time in September and read them to my boys. I choose all kinds of Halloween books from silly stories to some that are more factual. Books that talk about pumpkins and picking pumpkins were always in the mix. By reading him stories about parties and pumpkin picking and trick-or-treating I was preparing him for what to expect. It wasn’t long before he got excited about going trick-or-treating. I used those books like social stories for my son. I did the same thing with other holidays. I still do but now it is mostly out of habit.
My advice is to not give up. Introduce your child to events a little at a time. Full immersion all at once isn’t going to go well. While starting out, forgo holiday parties….for now. There is a lot of excitement that leads up to any holiday and that alone can be overwhelming. Instead focus on smaller events like pumpkin picking. Have your own little holiday party with only your own family or 1 your very best friends. Keep it small and keep it simple. Party games and crafts are usually too much for my son to participate in so I let him know that he can join if he wants to. I also let him know that he can go find a quiet place if he needs it. My son has always been able to seek out a room or go out into the backyard during parties. It is very helpful and has allowed him to choose how much he wants to participate. Over the years he has chosen to spend more time at the actual party and less time off on his own. I believe that exposure is key. Allow your child to experience things and understand that if things get to be too much, even when they have a quiet place, you may have to leave. It is ok. There have been many times when we didn’t have the option of leaving a holiday gathering. Generally we offer something to redirect his focus. Something he loved enough that he could focus through his inner turmoil and redirect his attention. Another thing we have done is go for a walk to allow him to relax.
Katrina
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